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17
A CURVE OF LEARNING
On the shuttle there were nice things like lots of comics and good kid-friendly (but healthy) food and computers to play amusing yet challenging games on (no war or aggression stuff just for the sake of it) and playground equipment catering to both children and adults: huge trampolines so they didn’t jump on the beds and a great tall helter-skelter and a push-me pull-you on which several people could ride at once (safer than individual swings).
Daneel and Giskard from their own love of playing on such things had opened up a whole new world to Elijah, who at first had been very suspicious and like who ever heard of a grown man playing in playgrounds! But the luxuriant Aurorans are very fun-loving and don’t see why they should have to be grown-up all the time and why should kids have all the fun and so on, and so in this culture had Giskard and Daneel been reared. Every self-respecting Auroran household had their own playground as a matter of course, and so it was entirely normal for Daneel and Giskard to have these built in the shuttle schools.
Up in the cruiser there was full-scale fairgrounds and cresta runs, rollerblade parks and water recreation; Aurorans adore a good whirl and these lacked for nothing. And the design was superb as Aurorans are far too sensible and un-macho to want to get themselves unnecessarily injured (so testosterone hetty alpha!) and so the floors were always gorgeously resiliant and smooth.
The Earth Cities had their children’s playgrounds but these were what they were: for children only and of utilitarian design. Elijah came to love playing in the Auroran-designed playgrounds and fairgrounds and riding such beautifully weighted, glossy and ample equipment such as he’d never experienced before. The push-me pull-you felt as if it swung on ball bearings. And all this pure unadulterated fun could also be good exercise! Most of the boys began to feel they’d come into Paradise as their inhibitions and insecurities fell away and they learned to have fun in its truest sense. And there was also a body-building gym which the older ones liked. Oh, and karaoke, adored by all robots who used it to practice their moves and sense of rhythm.
Everyone could approach things, or not, at entirely their own pace. There was no, absolutely no, herding or funneling – and absolutely no jollying along! One created one’s own schedule and learned by example. They would see the robots (and Elijah) enjoying themselves on things (and even going Outside) and would get to want to do these too. Some of the shyer boys liked a one-to-one of doing these with an older person or a robot who showed them that one could enjoy these things with gentle high-spirits instead of unfun boisterous mindlessness as had been their unfortunate lot at City schools. Each boy was helped to feel that his own peculier sensitivities or proclivities were (almost mundanely) normal instead of boring or freakish. Just ‘not wanting to’ or ‘not liking’ was entirely good enough!
“One thing I cannot stand,” Elijah pronounced, “is what I call ‘angry pleasure’ – which isn’t really pleasure at all and which some humans have to indulge in. Pathetic!”.
“I think that’s called ‘having-a-good-time’”, Daneel, with his understanding of humans, said dryly. “Euphemism for ‘lets kick anyone who doesn’t want to join in’”.
So if a boy wanted to press flowers or play guitar or create patterns and colours or dance to music or dress up in his spare time, hey he could! These ‘misfits’ fitted in without even realizing it.
That first time the little flock of boys consisting of Ben, Frankie, Lucian and a few others poached along the way had entered the cruise shuttle and saw all this was mesmerizing. Instead of a lot of whooping and swooping and macho-boy stuff these special boys simply stood awed and spoke in hushed tones if they spoke at all. One or two looked frightened as they thought they’d now be forced to go and do things in a horrible way like back at school with a lot of hectoring and come-along-now and get-a-move-on-boy. Instead it was very peaceful and Elijah and Daneel just stood and let them slowly absorb things.
“Just Be”, Daneel said and when they looked puzzled said, “Nobody’s going to hassle you or order you to do things, okay”, and then,”This isn't school as you know it”. He had an arm round Lucian who leaned comfortably against him like it was the most natural thing ever; Lucian was an easily affectionate boy who, once nobody was calling him Lucy, responded well. Frankie at first acted like he wasn’t allowed to respond in this way; well he didn’t know how to respond as nobody in his family, being all boys, had been like this. One or two others looked askance, even affronted, at first, fearing ridicule of course. Mostly, once these taboos got overcome, all that was feminine and fun in these boys opened out. To set the trend Daneel was being all-male now, being openly affectionate with Elijah who responded like it was entirely natural and very nice too. Some of the boys looked aghast when they first saw them with arms round each other, Elijah’s head on Daneel’s shoulder.
“My Mum and Dad won’t like that”, one rather primly said, and Ben was cross, crying out, “Well go home then if you don’t like it!”.
Another asked tentatively, “Are – are you queerdos?” Daneel and Elijah did not flinch or look the slightest bit embarrassed or frightened. Daneel gave his easy smile.
“We’re good friends and we love each other”.
And Elijah said, gently, “Does it matter if we are…. We certainly don’t mind if that’s how people want to see us as”.
“It – it’s not allowed though”, the boy ventured, round eyed. “I mean, you get beat up if you’re – you’re like that”.
“Not here you won’t be. That’s only in Earth Cities”. Daneel firmly said.
Ben was often to get incensed at what he saw as any slur on his beloved ‘grandpa’ and his beautiful calm gentle partner. He would tell boys off for being prissy or hetty, and too stupid to see that things were different here, and that they were just copying their fathers or school teachers instead of thinking for themselves, and they were just really really boring. Several times Daneel or Elijah would have to restrain him.
“S’okay Ben. It doesn't hurt us. Some boys still have to learn to accept us as we are. They just don't know any better right now”.
“That’s ‘cause they’re stupid!”
“No. They’re probably afraid, Ben. Many of them have been bullied and teased and frightened into thinking such behaviour is bad”.
“Shucks! I never thought that”, Ben grumbled, “Not of you anyway”. And he put his arms round Elijah’s waist and leaned against him and Elijah stroked his hair. Ben loved doing this in front of the other boys just to show them, both as an example and also because he wanted to feel good.
Frankie was one of the boys who found all this more difficult. He wasn’t accustomed to all this open affection and being demonstrative. But here in the Shuttle was far more preferable than City school of course; the staff were always firm but kind and nobody was allowed to bully or rough you up and there weren’t horrid classes. Just learning at ones own pace, peacefully, with these kind of exciting Education holovids. And the food was, once you got used to it, pretty good, especially things like chips and burghers and dairy ice-cream!
Even the weird leafy things called ‘greens’ and various edible coloured spheres (such as oranges, tomatoes and apples) weren’t completely awful either once you got used to their taste and texture. (Daneel and Elijah would eat all these with every enjoyment). Yet, again nobody forced you into doing things you didn’t want, not even cuddling and showing affection. When not doing schoolwork Frankie was happiest immersing himself on the computer writing fantasy stories and was glad just to feel safe. And that was entirely good enough.
So it’s not Happy Clappy and it’s not Boot Camp. There’s never any come-along-everybody-play-the-game(or else!) and isn’t-this-all-lovely and cheer-up-it-may-never-happen (gawd had Elijah had a earful of that in his time!). Boys argued and got annoyed with each other (and everything!) and learned to cry and talk it all out instead of suffering in silence or hitting each other (as they’d been taught that that’s what boys did). If Daneel and Elijah were tough on anything it was the slightest sign of bullying or tormenting or what Elijah called ‘angry pleasure’. Or machismo. And there was zero-tolerance for any sexism or any distainful that’s-what-girls-do attitude. If the boys were going to have anything knocked out of them it was that!
“Time you started taking on some feminine values”, Elijah said firmly. “As I have”, and then, “And has it made me into such an awful being…? Well – if it has, I’m OK with that!” A lot of the boys admired that so-what attitude, some immediately, others with time. Such confidence was awesome, even scary at first. Daneel and Elijah could seem quite scary sometimes but in a different way to anyone the boys had grown up with in the City.
Learning to go Outside was a major hurdle. The Medievalists seemed to have lost sight of their goal, which was ostensibly to ‘go back to basics’: one of which had been learning to go Outside again and becoming reaquainted with nature. Only the splinter group witheringly referred to as ‘flower children’ ever got to properly doing this. The fundies stayed behind and forgot about Outside, instead turning back the clock to make the world a homophobic sexist’s paradise with firm emphasis on both men and boys being men. Whilst the woman and the child within us all was, in the case of males, firmly stamped out! And so there were boys like all the ones who came out to the cruise shuttle that day and were shown how things could be done differently.
“Just think” Daneel said, “how you can become superior to all those City fogeys because you will have gone Outside – whilst they’re too scared to! Huh, and they call themselves men whilst people like you are discarded as sissies”. He was to reiterate homilies of this ilk over and over in the next decade or so. “It’s they who are the cowards, which is why they’re bullies”.
It was great having Ben there. The way he cottoned on so quickly was amazing and made a good example. “They might end up being jealous of us, mightn't they”.
“They could well end up so”, Daneel agreed with a grin. “Feel flattered if they are. Jealousy can be a form of flattery”. Another little homily that would be oft repeated as well in the coming years. Oh Daneel now understood humans so-o well. “Trust a robot to come out with this”, Elijah pretended to carp. “Too clever by half”.
Daneel did not broadcast his roboticity. This just came about gradualy, neither denying nor confirming. As with the school’s humaniform staff. Okay it initially freaked some of the boys but it was few who didn’t come round to it. The humanforms (as were the metallos) were just so consistantly decent, honourable and completely lacking in any malice or prejudice. Provided one wasn’t doing anything bad or hurtful one was completely accepted as one was. These advanced robots were wise beyond belief - and certainly far more so than many humans. Most of the boys soon learned that a robot was often to be trusted over some humans.
Not that Daneel or any robot ever used mind-fiddling as propaganda to promote robots: a good human should arrive at their conclusions unmanipulated. When Elijah learned of this he felt ashamed to be human, with all their sly deceitful tendancies and their ignorant arrogance and their arrogant ignorance. He hoped that ones such as himself and Ben and some of the other boys might be a cut above this – or try to be. Most times.
And yet Daneel – as had Giskard - had well-developed some of the better human traits. He had learned that a holier-than-thou attitude and obvious goodliness did not go down well with flawed humans. Nothing a human hates more than being shown up. And so clever robots like Giskard and Daneel had developed self-parody and acrid irony and found they had sophisticated enough semanticry to learn wit and banter and – yes – jokes. Se-eriously bad ones! Of the what-did-the-robot-say-to-the-vicar line. And deadpan drollery: “When a robot says har har it’s told a joke. Geddit?” “Well don’t all laugh at once”.”Robots aren’t supposed to get jokes, don’cha know”. And most importantly Daneel and Giskard had learned how to call a spade a spade and all the right idioms for there’s nothing, but nothing, more off-putting – or more risible - to humans than stilted toffish speech patterns. And amongst themselves and close friends robots love to speak humanese. In other words: swear.
And so did Giskard and Daneel learn. And so did the boys who came to the cruise shuttle that day that was to change their lives. Elijah knew he’d never stopped learning. And they all just went on learning. And left those old Medievalists far far behind.
Some of the boys didn’t want to go home after that day. One or two of them went and hid so reluctant were they. Another cried a bit. And another bawled!
“I mean”, Daneel said, after they’d managed to comfort the boy into a few hiccoughy sobs, “Why? What are these miserable Medievalists trying to gain? Is there actually a good reason for this making-men-out-of-boys and all this gung-ho crap. It’s not as if they go anywhere or have to defend themselves against anyone. They just huddle in their stinking City making rules and having meetings”.
“It’s simply sick”, Elijah sighed. “It’s not as if they even want to go Outside. Only a breakaway group they denigrate as ‘flower children’ have actually done this. Even the Outside reconstituted twen-cen towns are better than that. At least they just leave one alone”.
“Even if they are full of yobs, it‘s more the gormless oik variety. Nothing politicized about those. Even the skinheads there are mostly just a lot of hot farting” Daneel said. “Not like on Beeneper planet”.
Both recalled the time they’d stopped off at Beeneper and the famous fracas they’d had with the more politicized ruling skinheads. “Gizza and I broke a few fingers there”.
“Hey yeah” Elijah said fondly. “When those brutes tried to attack poor old Robbie. And me”.
So what to do about boys who didn’t want to go home? The only thing left to do was to go with them and see their parents. Elijah and Daneel dressed with care: as dour and gloomy, as shapeless and uniform as possible: dark beige, muddy khaki, navy, dusty brown, slate grey, oh the joy of it all! Daneel went as female because of his long hair. “It’s enough to make grown robots and persons weep!”
THE ‘GOVERNMENT-BACKED REMEDIAL TEACHERS’
So along went Daneel and Elijah to see various parents and school teachers. They portrayed themselves ostensibly as government-backed remedial teachers who would help ‘lick problem pupils into shape’. (“’Give us your problem and we’ll give back an exemplary Cityzen’”. (Josaphat, what a load of cripe!)). And here Daneel hesitated not in applying subtle mind-bending propaganda to the full.
The Earth City classrooms were like something out of ancient soviet days, full of posters of Youth Movements and cadet corps and other gung-ho propaganda; with rows and rows of desks with their hard backless benches crammed close together. Even the lighting looked sulpherous and dire. Elijah felt his heart plummet with horrid memories and Daneel’s pozzies zanged with negativism indicating severe wrongness all round. The wrongness of humans being made unnecessarily unhappy. Such unreasonable wrongness.
Their little ruse mostly worked – aided by a lot of pre-emptive mind fiddling. If one can get this going before the other mind has a chance to bring up its predictably negative thoughts….yes it’s cheating; Daneel knew this and had to ‘reassure’ his 3 Laws circuits that it was for a human’s good and was not just a robot trying to gain superiority. Mostly by now this was a doddle and the reassurances just fell into place - Daneel had put this into practice often enough! And now he and Elijah made a nice little double-act: Elijah doing most of the talking while Daneel got on with fiddling.
Then there was hacking into the computer networks to send surreptitious disinformation into the appropriate government departments. Oh Daneel was a dab hand at this by now. And yes it was for the benefit of humans, though not all humans. But the humans it was going to benefit were unhappy ones who damn well needed that benefit! And the humans being ‘cheated’ weren’t actually being physically harmed or even seriously inconvenienced. Just more a case of hurt pride maybe, but that was peanuts to robots such as Daneel and Giskard.
So there was how the shuttle schools for boys who didn’t fit in were started up. And the vast improving and increasing of public transport. Heavily taxing any owner of a old-style car. Rapid phasing-out of the manufacture of such vehicles. Heavily investing into designing new-style vehicles. And rigourous toughening up of building regs so that developers were forced to improve their standards (ei built decently sound-proofed buildings for a change!). Enabling anyone to have their own room in hospital. Forcing governments into strongly subsidising payment of salaries so that places like Care Homes were adequately staffed, and giving out generous grants to support essential small shops and businesses. It’s amazing how some things had never changed until Giskard and Daneel got started on them, and a thousand years on there were the same old greed-and-laziness-driven politicians and government ministers and business leaders and sundry top-brass – or the plain ego-driven ruthless - who, before robots had developed so much intelligence, had been able to proceed unchecked and unhindered.
Even the so-called ‘soviet’ style government of the Earth Cities had its gross inequalities where some people were more equal than others. The most ardent and gung-ho Medievalists, not surprisingly, were also the most well-off, living in the bigger ‘rabbit hutches’ and somehow managing to get better fare in the canteens. In Elijah’s old life things had been slightly more democratic and he’d been able occasionally to experience relatively tastier food (with actual bits of real food in them). Now he probably wouldn’t be allowed a chance of this at all.
“And now let’s get out of here”, Daneel said. “With our first pupils”. And then, sighing, “Gizza tells me there’s been a drunken brawl on the Cruiser and some human people have had to be detained”.
“Oh wow,” Elijah groaned. “Humanity at its best worst.”. He gave a dry chuckle. “Better keep our little brood locked up as well”. Sheltering the boys would be easily done on the Cruiseship; Elijah had his own spacious quarters next to the Captain’s stateroom ones – in other words Daneel’s and Giskard’s, which was also next to their offices where they dealt with the business of overseeing the Cruise. Plenty of space to comfortably accommodate a handful of ‘pupils’ and keep them apart from the worse excesses of the hoi polloi and all their shenanigans. And of course Daneel and Giskard had also had their own elaborate playground equipment and gym installed, open only to the staff, whose own quarters were on the other side of the offices and staff recreational facilities, canteen and common room – so any staff shenanigans could also be safely kept away from the young innocents! (Yes, and that included the robot staff too).
A GOOD LIFESTYLE
It was a gorgeous great big safe yet exciting world aboard the 2 x 5-mile long Good Ship Gaya. The boys were not forbidden to roam as the kind intelligent robot staff would always keep an eye out for them and could actively protect them from any trouble. For treats, they, with Daneel, Giskard or Elijah, could go to the vast half-mile Fairground just beyond the park, where there was thrilling funky twen-cen pop music always playing, far superior to the current synthesized stuff on Earth which owed nowt to any real musical instrument and one could have traditional candy-floss as well as the usual excellently-fried chips, and dairy ice-cream with flaky-chocolate sticks in them, and fizzy drinks.
And then there were the gravitonic scooters that anyone could use to transport them along the main throughways that both encircled the body of and ran lengthways along the ship. The scooters, with their inbuilt magnetorepulsers, were quite safe enough for any older child to use but still thrillingly nippy, so this was just another great extracurricular activity. For more boisterous or older males (and females so-inclined) to let off steam there were self-contained race-tracks with faster streamlined gravitonic vehicles where they could speed to their silly heart’s content – though these too had the same clever Auroran-designed magnetorepulsers so people just harmlessly (but still quite excitingly) ‘dodgemed’ off each other without actually impacting. “No-one’s allowed to get hurt on our ship,” Giskard and Daneel, who went on these race-tracks themselves at times, declared. “What they do dirtside is another matter and not one our Laws are going to start crapping up about!”. Elijah tried the tracks with them once or twice but they made him feel giddy. “Getting old!” he’d laugh. “Or I’m too much a groundhog Earthling”.
But when the ship arrived to orbit a planet for a few days and people went down in the shuttles groundside it was exiting, if scary, to actually go Outside and feel real fresh air. Elijah found it intoxicating and most of the boys learned to find it so too – especially as it meant time-off from ‘school’, like at a weekend. There were larger shuttles that could double as groundside hotels for ten people each and these would be parked in an exclusive, often picturesque, field owned by the Spaceport but a little distance away. These shuttles now carried their own large cushy ground vehicles to convey anyone who wanted to go into town or out into the country or the desert or the mountains or whatever. These too could double as charabancs or as glorified ‘campervans’ for the most adventurous.
Good Ship Gaya was principally a pleasure cruiseship with (Auroran type) relaxed rules about sex and sexuality, dress and drugs. Basically if you didn't like this, then don't go booking passage on it. “We do carry a government health warning”, Giskard and Daneel quipped. There were heinously strict rules though against any gratuitous violence, rioting or brawling; Daneel and Giskard had no qualms about going along and reading out riot acts to the manner born! They could be quite scary about this too and quite a few might-be toughies had wilted. Robots of Giskard and Daneel calibre were quite ‘mentally’capable – as a last resort – of some pretty efficient and humiliating manhandling. After one warning the mal-doers would next be first detained in Security and then shuttled groundside at the next planet and summarily extradited back to their own planet! Good Ship Gaya gained a reputation for zero-leniency on such behaviour as well as for its superb food. And its Sex Change clinic.
People mostly happily paid through the nose for these privileges but the robots ran a charity so that needy less-well-off people could also benefit from a good secure humane but fun holiday for a much reduced (and in a few cases free) fee. “We run a scholarSHIP”, Daneel and Giskard famously deadpanned. “Har har”. “Just in case you didn’t get that a robot has made a joke”. And so on.
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